Dealing with hurts and pains of the heart:

          Every human being in this world experiences hurt and it stays deep in our hearts.

Some incidents later in our lives trigger this hurt and we feel very sad and almost

depressed. I was no exception to this. There were little things that caused me a lot of hurt

when I was growing up. I would push them somewhere under the conscious mind as you

cannot really cast them away. There were times when something would trigger to bring

those hurts to the surface. During my teenage years I devised a plan to cope with this. I

would assign one night to think and bring to the surface all the incidents of hurtI experienced in

my life thus far, as if they happened to me at that night. This would fill my heart with so

much pain that I would cry till all the pain was gone from my heart and then fell asleep.

There were nights when my pillow would be soaked with tears. However, when I got up

the next day I was as good as new for a few years or till the trigger brought about the

sadness again. Perhaps being in the boarding school from an early age, I had to learn to

cope with many things and find ways of dealing with things on my own. Eventually I

got stronger and was able to remember those incidents without feeling sad and hurt, 

in an objective manner. I knew that some of the things people said and did to me were

wrong, but it did not hurt me any more. Don’t get me wrong. There was no sexual abuse. The

physical punishment did not bother me as well as in those days all of us got beaten up for

a bad report card, complaint from the teacher or even for back answering your parents. It

was the hurtful remarks made by my mother, friends and siblings that hurt me the most.

People could call it psychological therapy. It worked for me and I am sure it would work

for all as long as they are able to bear the pain that will seize their hearts when they

bring to surface all the hurtful incidents, together.

          Today I am at peace with the world and the people around me. I have realized that

we are all human and make mistakes. “To err is human, to forgive is divine.”  I have

forgiven those who have hurt me, but not forgotten. My experiences have made me wiser

and not bitter. Furthermore I am content with what life has given me so far. I believe life

is a gift and everything in it including the sorrows, disappointments and despairs we

sometimes experience. As long as we are feeling something, no matter what, we are alive.

We die the minute we stop feeling and become apathetic.